Canadian Trump fans finally got it: ‘America First’ is ‘Canada Last’

I don’t know about you, but, recently, I have enjoyed watching an entertaining spasm of populist-on-populist violence.

Perhaps “violence” is too strong a word. Populist-on-populist “animus” may be a more accurate way to describe how Canada’s two leading populist charlatans have been responding to the threat made by their populist hero – American President-elect Donald Trump – to impose 25 percent tariffs on Canadian goods and services exported to the United States.

The glorious spectacle began when Ontario’s semi-coherent premier, Doug Ford, and the slightly more articulate Conservative Party leader, self-styled tough guy and would-be prime minister, Pierre Poilievre, recognised that the inevitable meaning of Trump’s xenophobic-drenched “America First” vow translated into “Canada Last”.

So the pair of pedestrian “firebrands” were suddenly obliged to hold hastily arranged press conferences to extinguish the fire from their brands while they chastised and “distanced” themselves from an irrational felon they adore and who, if he imposes the threatened tariffs come his return to the Oval Office early next year, would reportedly devastate the Ontario and Canadian economies.

The premier was the first out of the harried rhetorical gate earlier this week, delivering a 15-minute-long anguished reaction to Trump’s proposed tariffs.

Ford’s meandering address was resounding proof not only of his flimsy command of the English language, but of a spurned lover’s gooey affection for a raging populist who appears poised to “stab” America’s dearest friend, Canada.

As if to convey the gravity of what he was about to say, a pale, shaken-looking Ford took hold of a lectern with both hands to steady himself before delivering his panic-tinged remarks.

“Last night,” Ford said, “we received the biggest threat we have ever received from our closest friend and ally [and] from President-elect Trump.”

Wow. The “biggest threat … ever”, eh? That grade A hyperbole is sure to register with the undisputed champion of unhinged hyperbole – Donald Trump.

After that bit of nonsense, Ford launched into an unhinged diatribe of his own, saying that he was insulted that Trump had “compared” Canada to Mexico.

Ford complained that Trump’s indictment of Canada was “unfair” without, of course, explaining why it was unfair.

“I can tell you, Canada is no Mexico,” Ford said with all the faux outrage he could muster.

Gone, apparently, were the happy days when Canada, Mexico, and the US were considered the “three amigos” who applauded each other’s democratic values and commitment to unhindered trade, culminating in the much-celebrated North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) renegotiated by the aforementioned “three amigos” in 2020.