The time has come, friends.
Tonight, we finally begin to find out how the mess that has been Peter Weber‘s season of The Bachelor will end. We won’t fully find out since obviously it had to be a two-night event, but at least by 10 p.m. tonight, we’ll have some clarity on what on earth is going on and who Pilot Pete might end up with, if anyone at all.
Will it be Hannah Ann Sluss, the 23 year-old model whose age and inexperience once concerned Pete until it didn’t anymore? Or will it be Madison Prewett, the 23 year-old foster parent recruiter whose age never seemed to bother Pete that much, but who dropped a complicated sex-related bomb on Peter during fantasy suite week and threw him for a wild loop?
The answer is unclear, but we’re promised a “riveting” “shocking” “unprecedented” “unique” ending to one of the franchise’s messiest seasons over the next two nights.
We’re going to be here the whole time, providing live updates, thoughts, GIFs, and musings throughout the episodes, starting tonight at 8 p.m. ET.
Here we go!
8:04 p.m.: This is the portion of the show where we watch three separate people wheel suitcases through Australia, while Pete talks over footage of kangaroos and sunsets.
8:05 p.m.: It’s Barb! And Pete Sr. and Pete’s little brother. And Pete’s jumping right into telling his family about how Madison asked him to not have sex, and then he did have sex, which is not the first thing we’d tell our fam but to each his own. And all the Webers were concerned about Madison waiting sooooo long to tell him about the sex thing, but excited to meet Hannah Ann, who Peter described thusly:
“Hannah Ann is the perfect combination of like, that pure, beautiful innocence that combines like so effortlessly with all the confidence in the world, and she is just like the biggest sweetheart that you will ever meet.”
The parents’ response?
“The way you describe her, she sounds like you.”
Absolutely no offense, but who describes your son like that, Mr. and Mrs. Weber?
Other than that weird line, honestly Hannah Ann’s killing it.
8:20 p.m.: “Peter’s really torn,” Pete Sr. says.
“I feel like I’ve known you all my life,” Barb tells Hannah Ann.
Could this mean that it’s Hannah Ann who she’s crying about in all the promos?! Bring her home to us, Pete!